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Blah for 2003.08


Why do people want Hummers? To pick up the platoon from kindergarten?


“I must say that I’m disappointed. Your website just felt amiss without a picture of Britney kissing Madonna.”

“Yeah... but my computer’s desktop doesn’t feel amiss.”


Yesterday I finally saw a true genius of vanity license plates: “TAG LOST”


I was born in 1975. This means that although I am too young to have experienced all of the hope and potential of the Apollo space program, I am still old enough to have experienced all of the hope and potential of the early Space Shuttle program (in elementary school we would always watch and countdown with the Space Shuttle liftoffs).

So, what does this mean for me today? It means that, although I may miss Mars’s closest encounter to Earth because of all the clouds and rain we’ve been having in South Florida this month, I still don’t feel a loss because I still have hope that one day (perhaps when I’m 90 years old but still young thanks to medical technology) I still might be able to set foot on Mars.


I wonder how much longer it will be until there is a reality TV show titled something like: Rich People Laughing At Poor People.


There’s nothing like the impetus for cleaning created by a guest coming over to visit.


Zombie Infection Simulation. So is that how zombies win in the movies?


Rule Number One:
All computers should be built with handles for lifting said computer (Apple, you’re excused, thank you).
Rule Number Two:
All computers should be built from the lightest materials possible.
Rule Number Three:
If rule number two cannot be satisfied, then at least make the power supply easily removable so that it can be carried separately and thus decreasing the weight of the computer.
Rule Number Four:
Keyboard and mouse cords should always be longer than needed, because they’re never long enough (now I’m talking to you Apple).


You may think that by not documenting any of your work or job duties you’ll be shielding yourself against layoffs, but in reality all you’re doing is making the job harder for those poor employees who are left to pick up your extra workload.


I’m sure other people have already had this idea by now, but what if they continued the Freddy vs. Jason idea and have all of the slasher movie killers fight each other through a series of movies—tournament style—to decide who is the reigning champion of them all?


Whenever we housesit for my parents, my wife Judy is like a kid in a candy store in their kitchen. She always likes to see what food they have, what’s new that she’d like to try, and what she might like to bring back home with us.


You know that old saying: “Life’s got you by the balls”? Well, it’s incomplete. It should be: “Life’s got you by one testicle, money by the other.”


The other day I had the thought that, perhaps, the best first step in making the move to CSS layouts for Web sites is to treat Netscape 4’s rendering of your site with the same respect that you would treat Netscape 1’s rendering of your site. Why? Because you need to get over the concern that Netscape 4 is still a “current” browser. It’s not a current browser—even in Web years it’s very old—and current browsers can do amazing this with CSS just as Netscape 4 could do amazing things with JavaScript over Netscape 1. It’s time to move forward, and CSS layouts will still allow Netscape 4 visitors to access your content even if it isn’t pretty. And in time, Netscape 4 users will upgrade to real “current” browsers, just as B&W tv viewers eventually upgraded to color tvs once they realized how much better the experience was.


I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

No, I’m not talking about Chili’s ribs, I’m talking about my wife, Judy, who’s on a business trip all this week and whom I’m already missing.


So tell me, just how exactly am I supposed to see Mars’ closest approach to Earth when storm clouds are covering the sky almost every single night here in South Florida?


I wonder what would happen if a Hummer and a Mini were to get into a car accident? Would the driver of the Hummer just continue to drive thinking that he hit a speed bump?


“Robotic Nation” by Marshall Brain is the first in what looks to be a very good series of essays on what robotics and computers mean to the future of humanity and employment.


In South Florida, it’s that time of the season for good lightning storms. Strike, strike, strike.


American Wedding is just as funny as American Pie and American Pie 2. Go see it. Now. No, seriously, you don’t belive me? I mean it. Go now. Good.


Freaky. Apparently, this is what happens when a Centrum vitamin gets exposed to water:
Centrum vitamin exposed to water in a pill box.