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Blah for 2004.09


I’ve got a new invention. It’s called the “Wheel O' Clothes”. It’s for women who can’t decide what to wear in the morning. What they do is, they put, oh let’s say two weeks worth of outfit combinations onto the Wheel, then each morning give it a spin to see what they’re going to wear that day. It’s perfect. And it keeps me from having to hear: “What should I wear today?”


You know that they’re really giving up in the fortune cookie writing business if you’re fortune has the words “you may” in it. For example, last night, my fortune cookie read:

You may be conservative, cautious, and practical.

Isn’t a fortune cookie supposed to “know” who I am and what my fortune will be? Isn’t that the whole point of the fortune cookie? By saying “you may”, it’s like they’re just saying: “OK, we give up, you may or may not be this, we don’t know anymore.”


There needs to be a DVD of the best of weather reporter fall-downs. You know, when the weather reporter is standing out there in the middle of a hurricane, trying to scream into their microphone, and then the wind blows them over. I mean what do they expect standing out there in a hurricane? They obviously want some attention, so what better way than a DVD?


Once more into a shuttered home,
Once more into wind, rain, and misery;
Once more we whine and moan,
Once more these hurricanes drive us to insanity.


If there’s one good thing to be said about a stomach flu, it’s that you sure can get a lot of reading done from having to sit on the toilet so often.



Have I mentioned before how much I hate being sick? Yes, it looks like I have. Except this time, let me also mention how extremely much I hate vomiting.


It seems like crises usually come in pairs, if not more.


King of the couch. Lord of the lounger. Sovereign of the sofa. It’s Sammy the Spoiled.

Sammy, a pomeranian, resting on and dominating the whole couch.


I’m sure this has been said countless times before by countless people, but it just came into my head again today: How did wedgies ever become a fashion trend?


Maybe it’s just me, but I noticed the other night (while we where watching Intolerable Cruelty) that some movies have an affinity for music from certain artists. In Intolerable Cruelty I noticed lots of Simon & Garfunkel. In Drowning Mona, it was Three Dog Night. I don’t know if it’s that certain directors lean more towards certain artists’ songs in their movies or just in particular movies (or even if it’s the directors who pick the songs), but I guess that if I were making movies, there would be somebody somewhere noticing lots of Smashing Pumpkins songs in my movies.


I’m not sure yet, but I might try out Flickr as a way to put my photos online.


Anybody want an invite to Gmail? I have three available. Just e-mail me: at


Are we done talking about hurricanes yet?


Are we ready to unpack our stuff from plastic bags and return our home to pre-hurricane conditions?

No, maybe not until Ivan has moved more away from Florida.


*obscenity deleted* Hurricane Frances *obscenity deleted* *obscenity deleted* water-soaked carpet *obscenity deleted* stinks like *obscenity deleted* *obscenity deleted*.

Photo of carpet pulled back showing water damage.


After Hurricane Frances, take two half-days of cleaning up yard debris, several hours driving around looking at other damaged areas, and several more hours trying to clean damp carpets from where the windows leaked, and where does that leave us? A brief week of trying to return to normalcy before Hurricane Ivan (possibly) arrives.

Photo of front yard before and after Hurricane Frances.


Slowest. Hurricane. Ever.

... and most boring.


OK, waiting for this damned hurricane is getting really annoying. It’s just sitting there in the Bahamas. Just sitting there taunting us. C’mon already. Move it or lose it. (Move north, that is.)


Well... we can only prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. One thing about hurricanes though, they make you really think about what’s most important to you. Because those are the things you most want to protect.

But you know, of all the natural disasters there are, I think I’ll stick with hurricanes. Earthquakes, tornadoes, floods; these are difficult to give plenty of warning time for. Hurricanes? You can see them coming at you from days away.


Oh you damn bitch, why aren’t you turning more north!?

Projected path of Hurricane Frances.