JoeK.com - Online since 1996.
You are currently in: Jokes. Skip to site menu.
How You Can Tell When It’s Going To Be A Rotten Day
- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
- You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
- You see the 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren’t any.
- You turn on the news and they’re showing emergency routes out of the city.
- Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
- You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then realize that you don’t have a waterbed.
- Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell’s Angels on the freeway.
- Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
- Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
- The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
- You wake up and your braces are locked together.
- You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
- You call your answering service and they tell you it’s none of your business.
- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
- Your income tax check bounces.
- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
- Your pet rock snaps at you.
- Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” and your name is George.
Similar Jokes
Read other jokes similar to this one in the following categories.
Lists
- 10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving But Aren’t
- 15 Things Not To Say When Getting Pulled Over
- 16 Signs It’s Time To Abandon Your Space Station
- 20 Ways To Confuse Trick-Or-Treaters
- 25 Ways To Torture Your Roommate At Christmas
- 30 More Things We Have Learned From The Movies
- 50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart
- Alcohol Warnings
- Applicant Speak
- Best Excuses If You Get Caught Sleeping In Your Cubicle
- Bumper Stickers
- Diet Rules
- Employer Talk
- Holiday Shopping Fun
- How To Respond To Pickup Lines
- How You Can Tell When It’s Going To Be A Rotten Day
- Medical Misstatements
- Men’s 41 Rules For Women
- Some Ideas To Get Rid Of Telemarketers
- Southern Slang
- The Drinker’s Alphabet
- The Good, The Bad, And The Worse
- The Shit List
- The World’s Shortest Books
- The Worst Pick Up Lines
- Top Ten Changes At NASA To Accommodate 76 Year-Old John Glenn’s Return To Space Aboard The Shuttle Discovery
- Top Ten Reasons The Star Wars Characters Would Kick Butt In The Star Trek Universe
- Top Ten Reasons Why Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex
- Top Ten Things Men Shouldn’t Say Out Loud When Shopping In Victoria’s Secret
- Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say
- You Know You Are No Longer A Kid When
- You Know You’re Too Stressed If
