You are currently in: Jokes. Skip to site menu.


Winter Diary

August 12: Moved to our new home in Connecticut. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see snow covering them.

October 14: Connecticut is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

November 11: Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

December 2: It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snow ball fight (I won), and when the snow-plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Connecticut.

December 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snow-plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

December 19: More snow last night. Couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow-plow.

December 22: More of that white shit fell last night. I’ve got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow-plow hides around the curve and waits until I’m done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

December 25: Merry Fucking Christmas. More friggen snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow-plow I swear I’ll kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.

December 27: More white shit last night. Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow-plow goes through every time. Can’t go anywhere, car’s stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

December 28: The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that shit this time. At this rate it won’t melt before the summer. The snow-plow got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking head.

January 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that fucking salt they put all over the roads.

May 10: Moved to Arizona. I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Connecticut.