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The Worst Pick Up Lines

Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw.

Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good.

Your body’s name must be Visa, because it’s everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.

My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I’d be coming too.

Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I’ll do it your way right away.

I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to “tinker” around with.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you’re the Bomb.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald’s, you would be McGorgeous.

Is that Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.

I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long.

If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

If you were a car, I’d wax you and ride you all over town.

Guy: “Would you like to dance?”
Girl: “I don’t care for this song and surely wouldn’t dance with you.”
Guy: “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said ‘you look fat in those pants’.”

Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.

I’m new in town, could I have directions to your house.

If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?

You look like a girl that has heard every line in the book, so what’s one more going to hurt?

Fuck me if I’m wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

I love every bone in your body—especially mine.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, nead till hard, and serve hot.

You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.

Hey baby, I’m like American Express, you don’t want to leave home without me.

Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.

Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you’ll be screaming it all night long.

I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.

You must be Jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.

The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.

Guy: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?”
Girl: “Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter I stick to the roof of your mouth.

Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?

Guy: “Do you sleep on your stomach?”
Girl: “No.”
Guy: “Can I?”