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Alcohol Warnings

He board of health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or two.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

Warning: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think while photocopying your dick at the office Christmas party.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).

Warning: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

Warning: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than someone really, really big named Psycho.

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