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15 Things Not To Say When Getting Pulled Over

  1. What do you use those rubber gloves for, anyway?
  2. So thats what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone means.
  3. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
  4. Hey, wasn’t your daughter a porn queen?
  5. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
  6. You’ll never get those cuffs on me... You Homo!
  7. On the way to the station let’s get a six pack, oh don’t forget the cig’s.
  8. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
  9. But officer, I’ve got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick one.
  10. Back off, Barney, I’ve got a piece.
  11. No, I don’t know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.
  12. No, offi, offic, lucifer... I’m not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
  13. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
  14. I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
  15. No, you assume the position.