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First Place

A Scotsman stopped off for a few drinks at his local pub. On his way home he was having trouble navigating, so he decided to take a little rest by the roadside. As he was snoring gently, two girls came by and one said to the other, “You know, they say Scotsmen go naked under their kilts... Shall we see if it’s true?”

Her companion eagerly agreed, and when they lifted his kilt they found the story to be true indeed. In fact, what greeted their eyes was so pleasing that one of the girls took off her blue hair ribbon and tied it around the man’s member as he slept.

Not too much later the Scotsman awoke, and when he stood to take a pee he got quite a start at the sight of the blue ribbon. “Hoot mon!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know what you’ve been up to, but I’m certainly glad to see you took first place.”