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Not Drunk

I had 12 jugs of hard cider in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents down the sink, or else!! So I said I would.

I pulled the cork from the first jug and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the second jug and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then pulled the cork from the third jug and poured the cider down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the jug down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the next jug and drank all but one sink of it, throwing the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink from the next glass and poured the cork from the jug. Then I corked the sink with the glass, jugged the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the jugs, corks and glasses and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by, I counted them again and finally had all houses in one jug, which I drank.

I am not under the alcofluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am, nor are I half so think as they drunk I am, but I fool so feelish I don’t know who is me, and the frunder I stand here the longer I get.