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Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say

#10. Well, how ’bout that?... I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.

#9. You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?

#8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain “up yours” attitude.... I like that.

#7. Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car—go crazy.

#6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

#5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend... you might want to consider throwing a party.

#4. Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies—you know—that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

#3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring—now quit your belly-aching, and let’s go to the mall.

#2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

And the number one thing you’ll never hear a dad say...

Father’s Day? Ahh—don’t worry about that—it’s no big deal.