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From My Life...

Meta-Nothing (2000.10.19)

I sit here, staring at the large white space of the notepad window. I sit here, trying to think of something to write. Nothing much happened from my life today. I went to get an oil change and 12,000 mile service (rotate the tires) on my lease 2000 Mitsubishi Eclipse this morning. That took over two hours. When I got to work nothing much was happening. I spent most of the day browsing the Web trying to find reference Web sites and articles to write a little essay about how our company’s Web site can be something visually stunning and usable and informative and entertaining and etc, etc, etc. But I found many links but mostly did reading, and all that reading on the monitor eventually lead to a headache by the end of the day. (Why don’t I usually get headaches? Because my eyes are usually shifting between two monitors, or between coding and graphics; never continuously reading.) Like I said, I found lots of links, but they’re all bookmarked at work and I’m too tired right now to talk about links. When we (Judy & Joe) got home, Judy made dinner while I rested on the couch to get over my headache. We ate while watching Friends, and now I sit here... staring at an empty screen trying think of what to write about. I’m tired and feeling uninspired for writing. But I do want to continue writing. I started two story-lines so long ago and haven’t finished or even continued them in so long I don’t know how I’ll get back into their worlds. I’ve had many more ideas, but fear starting them until I at least continue the other two, and because I might start them and then never continue as with the current two. And now one third of the monitor is filled with this text I’ve been typing on how I have nothing to say. It’s like that one time in high school when I was so down and bored with everything and I was beginning to write poetry and this one day when I was sitting in (I forget which math, trig or something) and I wanted to write something but I was just staring down at a blank piece of paper and so I began with “this is a blank page...” And now that time has come again and this page is becoming more and more filled. Which makes me feel like it’s enough. I don’t need to continue and I should just end it now.

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